for those too good for forgiveness and change

hello 2 those who are reading...............

i have had some of my regrets on my mind. things i did when my heart n soul were  broken. though now i am more whole and mended i still think of those that i hurt. i might not be completely past my transgressions but i am on my way to being more complete than i was.
many have forgiven me and i have also forgiven those who hurt me. i can hold a grudge a long time. its not hard. what is hard is forgiving those whom have hurt you. i have tried to mend my broken soul by forgiving those that have hurt me. its not worth the effort it takes to hate someone. too much energy involved and all that.
i understand if someone i hurt cant forgive me, thats ok. its most definitely deserving. what i dont understand is the people that hurt me cant forgive me. what sense does that make? people that kicked me to the curb at a horrible time in my life and accused me of things i hadnt done, which almost cost me my family. they dont want to forgive me for what they only assumed i had done. they didnt have proof and then once proof of my innocence was shown they were still against me. i have tried several times over the years to take steps in being friends with these people to no avail. 
i dont understand why they think they are better than i am......who are you to say because of my past i am beneath you. you dont have that right. you arent any better than anyone, let alone someone who you bummed and begged from before u cast me  aside. snitches and bitches you might be but i want to bury the hate and become alliances in friendship. though it isnt meant to be i hope if you read this you know its of you. to be shown how petty and undeserving of my friendship you really are though what i want most from you is the friendship. we are more alike than you are willing to admit. perhaps that is why i was cast away and you are too scared of being my friend. you know you are just like me.......




to those of you i am friends with. i treasure everyone of you with all my heart. true friends are almost impossible to find. hold on to me and i will to you so that we can always know the true meaning of love and friendship.